As I settled into The Pine Beach Inn at Fort Bragg, I thought about diving into chapter 15 where my relationship with my dad is restored. I had just finished writing the chapter on The Sorting Cell.
I figured I would wrap up the long day of travel on a positive note. I'm enjoying a new book, Adorning the Dark, so I pulled it out. The author, Andrew Peterson, writes eloquently about creativity and living out our calling. Though he is a gifted and anointed writer, he writes and sings music primarily. His writing flows like a melody. I get lost in the pages of this book!
I lay the book beside me as I turned out the lights. I intentionally left the sliding door wide open to allow the cool sea air to fill the room. The intense crashing of the ocean waves lulled me to sleep.
In the middle of the night, a melody played in my dream. I recall lifting my head from the pillow, still half asleep, sounding out the melody out loud in order to remember the song in my dream. It was real. For that moment. When I woke in the morning after a full night's sleep, I remembered what happened but I could not remember the melody. All I knew was the Lord sang over me in my sleep.
Maybe Jesus was just reminding me of His love and delight as I pressed through chapters of shame. Highly possible.
Scripture says, "In peace, I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety." (Psalm 4:8) and "Because he loves me," says the Lord, "I will rescue him: I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name." (Psalm 91:14) AND "The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." (Zephaniah 3:17); and of course 2 Timothy 4:17, "But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was delivered from the lion’s mouth.
While writing about getting closer to my father through knowing he was serving the Lord, and visiting his church at Christmas, I thought ahead to the next chapter where I write about my dad's passing.
I figured I would wrap up the long day of travel on a positive note. I'm enjoying a new book, Adorning the Dark, so I pulled it out. The author, Andrew Peterson, writes eloquently about creativity and living out our calling. Though he is a gifted and anointed writer, he writes and sings music primarily. His writing flows like a melody. I get lost in the pages of this book!
I lay the book beside me as I turned out the lights. I intentionally left the sliding door wide open to allow the cool sea air to fill the room. The intense crashing of the ocean waves lulled me to sleep.
In the middle of the night, a melody played in my dream. I recall lifting my head from the pillow, still half asleep, sounding out the melody out loud in order to remember the song in my dream. It was real. For that moment. When I woke in the morning after a full night's sleep, I remembered what happened but I could not remember the melody. All I knew was the Lord sang over me in my sleep.
Maybe Jesus was just reminding me of His love and delight as I pressed through chapters of shame. Highly possible.
Scripture says, "In peace, I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety." (Psalm 4:8) and "Because he loves me," says the Lord, "I will rescue him: I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name." (Psalm 91:14) AND "The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." (Zephaniah 3:17); and of course 2 Timothy 4:17, "But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was delivered from the lion’s mouth.
While writing about getting closer to my father through knowing he was serving the Lord, and visiting his church at Christmas, I thought ahead to the next chapter where I write about my dad's passing.
When I visited dad at Christmas, I felt us draw so much closer. As the Lord drew him closer, my father's heart, in turn, drew me closer. Maybe we could have this is common and share our faith together.
On Friday morning 1/31/2020, I woke at 2:30 a.m. to work on this chapter. I returned to bed and my husband was awake. We talked about the loss of both my sister and my father. I realized in that moment that immediately before each of them passed away (1-2 months), reconciliation and amends took place between us. I had never been closer to my sister or my father as I was right before losing them both.
There was also a huge move of God in their hearts just before God called them home, and by God’s Grace I witnessed it. The experiences gave me peace in my heart knowing their soul was in God’s care, making their passing more bearable. I was able to celebrate their home going, though my heart was broken.
Within minutes of sharing this with my husband, he received a text about the passing of a dear friend and devoted brother in Christ, Michael Cozakas. Michael stopped breathing in his sleep. I shared this post on my FB:
Heaven welcomed one of God’s warriors home this morning. Michael Cozakas was a friend to us and a devoted Apostolic. 🙏👑
We met Michael the summer of 2018 when we went to his home in Auburn, CA to look at a motorcycle he had up for sale. We knew right away we were there for much more than to look at a bike. During our four hour visit, we shared a blessed time of fellowship and he prayed and ministered over my husband and I. It was an incredible night the Lord had for us as we were newly married. 💞👑
We are blessed by his prayers when my husband was in ICU in October 2018 and nearly lost his life. 🙏 The angels are singing and our brother is healed and whole again!
Knowing our beloved brother is in the presence of the Lord and no longer suffering is a tremendous comfort. Peace fills my husband’s heart and mine. Our heart breaks for his caregiver, Bev, and our dear brother, Kurt Blythe, who grew very close to Michael.
I’m asking for your prayers for everyone touched by his passing. He was a great anointed man of God who never ceased giving God glory, regardless of his hardships and suffering. He never once complained or pleaded for prayer. He knew God had him in the palm of His hand and never waivered. This is the faith I covet! I can speak for my husband as well.
We celebrate the heart prints he left upon us. Thank you God for Michael’s short but powerful life here on this earth. No doubt he will hear from the Lord, “Well done!” We are grateful for you allowing our paths to cross! It is rare to meet someone whose heart is as devoted to Jesus Christ as his. Michael truly lived a life of worship.
1 Corinthians 15:53–55
"For this perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on immortality. When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written: 'Death is swallowed up in victory.' 'O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?'"
"For this perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on immortality. When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written: 'Death is swallowed up in victory.' 'O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?'"
The Good News: The world we once knew has passed away as our faith in Jesus has deprived death of its sting and delivered us unto eternal life.
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