The writing theme for this past couple of weeks is shame. Preparation for the scenes to come about Van conditioning and molesting us. After writing one scene of an afternoon horseback riding, flashbacks of adult promiscuity and shameful sexual scenes tormented my sleep. This planted a fear to return to the page. I didn't want those images to return. So, how do I move forward? Pray. Read scripture. Worship. - Before writing and before going to sleep. After writing a traumatic scene, write another scene or narrative showing God's character (forgiveness, mercy, healing, etc.) so I can return to the page in love; not fear or shame. Maybe even write about the Romans 8:28 revelation before writing about the trauma. Do not get graphic - My readers are smart. They can figure it out. This chapter is the most difficult. Chapter 4 shows the sexual abuse we endured at the hands of our stepfather. August 28th happens to be his birthday, God rest his soul. It's not irony that...
While writing this chapter, I stumbled upon an online reading forum where a young lady commented about connecting with E. Sue Blume, author of the book, Secret Survivors. She was super excited that the author had responded to her letter. I decided to do a little digging to see if there was a way to connect with her also for my book. Her book was pivotal at the onset of my own healing journey. I would be writing about in Chapter 15! The book appeared on the bookshelf when I was looking for a book on outlaw bikers. The title was so intriguing. When I opened it, the inside binding contained the intake assessment list my new counselor had me complete. It was God confirming I was in the right place. I want the author to know this story. I'm compelled to connect with her. A bookstore ad popped up and they had a pristine first edition for sale. It was autographed and everything. So, I ordered it. I actually found her current mailing address. I want to find out if she would endorse my b...